Understanding the Anger Behind Our Imperfect Attempts: Why We Get So Upset
When we fail at something for the first time, it's natural to feel upset or angry with ourselves. However, the reasons behind this anger can be both complex and multifaceted. In this article, we will delve into the psychology behind this emotion and explore how to overcome the fear of imperfection.
The Root Cause: Wrong Training and Expectations
It’s been suggested that many of us have been trained to avoid making mistakes through fear of consequences and punishments. This mindset leads to an ‘avoidance’ view of achieving goals, where success is often linked to the absence of errors rather than the strength of effort and resilience.
Instead, true success and happiness often come from the learning experiences derived from those imperfections. Even accomplished feats have been fortified by multiple trials and errors. The key is to embrace the process as a valuable part of the journey.
Breaking Free from Fear
Fear is a toxin that can build up over time, manifesting in the form of perfectionism and an aversion to failure. It’s crucial to let go of this fear and move forward with confidence. Believing that mistakes are part of the learning curve can help you stay motivated and continue making progress.
Procedural Approach for First Time Tackles
When facing a new challenge, a systematic approach can be extremely beneficial. Begin by researching and understanding the task in full. Break down the components and consider potential scenarios, good or bad. Visualize the process multiple times to prepare yourself mentally. This not only helps in smoothing out the execution but can also lessen the anxiety associated with doing something for the first time.
Why Anger Towards Imperfection is Sinister
Anger directed towards oneself for not getting something right the first time is rooted in an aversion to failure and a sense of disappointment in one’s performance. We expect ourselves to be perfect and under immense pressure to succeed without mistakes. But the reality is that perfection is unattainable, and even the greatest of achievements stem from numerous failures and setbacks.
The Role of Nurture and Nature
Imperfect attempts can be influenced by both nurture and nature. Growing up in a household where high expectations were paramount can lead to internalized fears of failure. Similarly, the societal and cultural norms we are immersed in can also play a significant role. Our upbringing and environment shape our beliefs about what is acceptable or expected, and these can often lead to perfectionism.
Moreover, genetics can predispose us to certain traits such as anxiety, depression, or OCD, which can fuel an endless cycle of self-criticism and the desire for perfection. Recognizing these factors and understanding their influence on our behavior is a crucial step towards overcoming the fear of imperfection.
Conclusion: Embracing the Imperfection
In the quest for success, it's essential to remember that imperfection is a natural part of the journey. Do not be hard on yourself for the mistakes you make but rather use them as learning opportunities. Accept that perfection is unattainable and that the true measure of success lies in persistently trying and striving for improvement, even when the results are not immediate.
Remember, the story of Thomas Edison, who failed thousands of times before inventing the light bulb, is a powerful reminder that every failure is a step closer to success. So, the next time you face a challenge, focus on the strength it took to keep going, rather than on the number of times you failed.