Why Narcissists Cannot Show Empathy or Offer Kind Words
No one chooses to be a narcissist, and these individuals are often removed from their humanity. They do not experience true happiness, love, or gratitude. The only emotions they truly experience are anger, hate, entitlement, and greed. They are often seen as lost causes, which aligns with Bible verses that describe them as being turned loose by God for their wicked mindsets. Narcissists do not repent because the demon of narcissism does not allow it.
Control is the Foundation
Narcissists are motivated by their desire to exert control over others. They must maintain control over everyone they interact with to avoid being reminded of their past, which was marked by a severe lack of control.
Their innate need for control stems from their youth, where they experienced a lack of power and felt insignificant. This triggers their anger and foments their discontent whenever they lose control.
Empathy hinders their ability to maintain control. If they empathize with another person, they would feel bad and would understand the other person's actions, reducing their motivation to assert control.
Fuel for Their Identity Crisis
One of the key elements of narcissism is the need for emotional fuel. This is the validation that the narcissist has acquired through the emotional reactions and outputs of others. This imaginary need is a result of their youth, where they felt unimportant.
The narcissist receives validation and a sense of importance when others react to them emotionally. This emptiness cannot be fully filled, even with continuous fuel.
Empathy would force them to feel bad after provoking, gulling, or shaming others, which is contrary to their nature.
Character Traits: The Masked Self
Narcissists often adopt and mimic the character traits of others to create a facade that makes them appear more respectable and harder to discern. This process is akin to adding shards of glass to a frame to create a false legitimate appearance.
Their motivation to adopt these traits is to build a more compelling construct that conceals their true nature. This makes it harder for others to detect their manipulative tendencies.
If they could empathize, there would be no need to adopt these traits because they would naturally understand and show genuine compassion.
Residual Benefits and Parasitic Behavior
Narcissists rely on others for material and emotional benefits, such as money, shelter, and services, to sustain their self-esteem and control over others.
Empathy would make them less willing to exploit others, as they would feel the shame associated with such actions. Therefore, they would not be able to gain residual benefits.
Without empathy, they can shamelessly take advantage of people by swindling them out of time and money without feeling a twinge of sympathy.
Conclusion
Underlying the inability of a narcissist to show empathy or offer kind words is the fundamental drive to control, a deep-seated need for validation, the relentless pursuit of character traits, and the desire for residual benefits. These factors are intertwined with their inner demons, making authentic emotional connections with others a disruption to their own well-being. Understanding the narcissistic mind is crucial for dealing with them and offering them the help they need to change, if they are indeed willing.