Why Depressed People Suffer Through Self-Harm: An Understanding of Pain and Relief

When you're depressed, the pain is deeply embedded. It crawls through your brain, your heart, your fingers, your legs, bones - it's everywhere, and it never leaves you. Ironically, hurting yourself physically provides a momentary escape from this overwhelming sadness. For many, self-harm is a form of relief from mental pain, even if it causes physical suffering.

Physical Pain as Relief from Mental Pain

I have always felt pain physical and mental during self-harming. The misconception prevails that individuals who engage in self-harm do not feel anything. However, the reality is far more complex. Depressed people experience pain of an intensity that surpasses physical agony. This intense mental anguish is described as worse than having a limb amputated without anesthesia, or suffering torture with eyes gouged out or fingers pulled from the sockets.

Physical pain, particularly through actions like cutting or other forms of self-harm, takes the mind away from this deep depression. The physical pain can even mask the mental pain, providing a relief equivalent or superior to that offered by drugs. Sometimes, hitting a wall with mental pain, individuals turn to physical pain as a respite.

Skinning methods and their impact

For some like me, skinning methods provide a light version of this physical pain. Picking at the skin until it bleeds feels satisfying, and the pain distracts from other sources of mental distress. It demands my focus and lessens the existential pain and loneliness. Truly, I prefer physical suffering over mental pain. When mental pain becomes intolerable, physical pain can seem like a preferable alternative to suicide.

Truly, No One Wishes to Die

Truly, no one wants to die, but the cessation of pain often becomes their main priority. When mental suffering reaches a critical point, death seems like the only possibility to stop the pain. However, before reaching that dark place, many turn to self-harm to provide temporary relief. Self-harm is a stop-gap measure that often brings a modicum of relief.

Conclusion

Self-harm is not about avoiding pain but about seeking a more bearable form of pain. For those living with depression, physical pain is sometimes easier to endure than the mental anguish of their condition.