When a Narcissist Laughs at Your Feelings: Understanding Their Behavior

Explaining your feelings to a narcissist can often feel like an uphill battle. They may dismiss, belittle, or even laugh at you. This behavior stems from their lack of empathy and a need for control. Understanding what to expect can help protect your emotional well-being.

Common Ways Narcissists React

When you try to explain your feelings to a narcissist, they may exhibit various behaviors based on their emotional and psychological needs:

Dismissiveness: They might downplay your feelings, suggesting they are not valid or significant. Mocking or Laughing: They may react with laughter or jokes, which can be a way to belittle or invalidate your emotions. Shifting the Focus: They may redirect the conversation back to themselves, showing little interest in your feelings.

These behaviors often stem from their need for control and validation, leading to a lack of empathy for others.

Impact on Communication

A narcissist's reaction to your feelings can be particularly damaging. They view emotional experiences as a means to serve their own needs, not as valid human emotions. For example, they may say things like, 'To me, having feelings is funny, and you are just a tool to make my life better.'

Confronting Their Behavior

It's important to be aware of how their behavior might impact the conversation. When discussing feelings, it can be challenging to differentiate between an indictment of the narcissist and a personal critique. For instance:

Why do you always make me feel like this? Why do you have to hurt me all the time? Why can’t you be nice for once? vs When you talk to me in that tone of voice, it sounds to me like you don’t respect me, and then I get defensive and angry.

The first statement is an accusation, while the second is an explanation. The clearer and more neutral your words, the less likely the narcissist is to dismiss or react with negativity.

Emotional Well-Being in Action

A narcissist may not always laugh at you or dismiss your feelings. Sometimes, they may interrupt you with their own thoughts or refuse to acknowledge your needs. For instance, they might say, 'I can’t listen to your feelings because I don’t care about them,' or 'I can’t deal with you when you cry.'
If you find yourself in such a situation, it's crucial to prioritize your emotional well-being. Setting boundaries, focusing on self-care, and seeking support from trusted individuals or professionals can help you manage the emotional toll of dealing with a narcissist.

Understanding the behavior of a narcissist and learning to communicate effectively can help you navigate these difficult situations and protect your emotional health.