When Someone Changes the Subject: An In-Depth Analysis of 'Deflection'

Have you ever found yourself in a conversation where someone abruptly shifts the topic to something entirely different? This can be especially common when the original topic is sensitive or uncomfortable. This phenomenon is often referred to as deflection.

Understanding Deflection

Deflection is the act of changing the subject to avoid directly addressing an issue. It's a common tactic used by individuals who may be uncomfortable with the current topic or who are actively trying to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

The term 'deflection' itself comes from the Latin word 'deflexio,' 'deflectus,' meaning to bend or turn away. In the context of conversations and interactions, it refers to an abrupt shift in the subject matter, often to a less sensitive or more comfortable topic.

Common Indicators of Deflection

People might engage in deflection through various means. Here are some of the common ways:

Re-directing the conversation: The person might bring up a related topic that is still somewhat connected, but shifts the focus away from the original issue. Changing the subject: They might abruptly introduce a new and unrelated topic to distract from the current discussion. Introducing a question or comment about someone else: This can throw the focus off themselves and onto another person, potentially shifting the blame or responsibility. Introducing an emotional trigger: They might use a more sensitive topic to draw attention away from the original issue.

The Psychology Behind Deflection

Individuals may engage in deflection for several reasons:

Avoidance of personal responsibility: When a person feels they are being held accountable for something, they may deflect to avoid addressing the issue directly. Emotional discomfort: The topic might be too uncomfortable or emotionally charged for the individual, leading them to change the subject to a more comfortable topic. Manipulation: By shifting to a different topic, the individual might be trying to influence the conversation in a certain direction, often to benefit themselves. Bullying tactics: In some cases, deflection can be a form of bullying, where the individual is trying to undermine or dismiss another person's concerns.

Examples of Deflection in Real-Life Situations

Let's consider a few scenarios where deflection might occur:

Academic Setting

In the classroom, a student might feel that a teacher is picking on them for not understanding a concept. Instead of admitting their confusion, the student might deflect by asking a question about a different topic or by introducing an unrelated point to redirect the teacher's attention.

Workplace

During a meeting, an employee might feel that a colleague is upset with them. Rather than addressing the underlying issue, the employee might deftly change the subject to a less controversial and more neutral topic. For instance, they might say, "Hey, do you think the new client feedback is going to impact our budget?" This could divert the conversation away from the potential conflict.

Personal Relationships

In a personal relationship, a partner might feel that their significant other is avoiding a sensitive issue. For example, if they are discussing financial issues, the other might shift the topic to something like, "What's for dinner?" or "How's the weather?" This can be a form of displacing their focus to an issue that is more comfortable for them to discuss.

How to Identify and Handle Deflection

Identifying deflection can be challenging, especially in the heat of the moment. Here are some strategies to manage and respond to deflection effectively:

Stay calm and composed: Reacting nervously or getting worked up can sometimes encourage the deflecting behavior. Maintaining your composure helps in keeping the conversation on track. Ask clarifying questions: Instead of confronting the person directly, ask questions that can help redirect the conversation back to the original topic. This can also provide you with more context and information. Set boundaries: Be clear about what you are willing to discuss and stick to it. If someone keeps shifting the topic, remind them gently but firmly that the original topic needs to be addressed. Redirect the conversation: If the other person continues to avoid the topic, you can tactfully say something like, "Let's get back to the original topic if you don't mind. We need to address this to move forward."

Conclusion

Deflection is a common tactic used in various settings to avoid addressing uncomfortable or sensitive topics. Understanding why and how it happens can help you recognize it and handle it more effectively. Whether in a personal, academic, or professional context, being aware of this behavior can help you maintain the integrity of the conversation and ensure that everyone's concerns are appropriately addressed.

By recognizing the signs of deflection, you can take steps to refute this behavior and keep the conversation on track. Remember, it's important to address the issue at hand to foster healthy and constructive dialogues.