When Does a Narcissist Say They're Sorry for Hurting You?

The concept of a narcissist saying they're sorry for hurting someone is often misunderstood. While narcissists do use apologies, they only do so under specific conditions that reveal much about their true intentions and psychological makeup.

Indifference as the Ultimate Truth Serum

Narcissists apologize when they sense that you no longer care about their actions. Their apologies are born out of a deep-seated need to maintain their illusion of perfection. Negative emotions, particularly those that remind them of the pain they've caused, weigh heavily on them. They become burdened by these feelings, leading them to seek relief by making you feel better, all the while maintaining their own fa?ade of invincibility.

Indifference: The Power That Makes Them Apologize

For a narcissist, showing pain or vulnerability often signifies the end of their opportunity to torment. When you remain indifferent to their actions, it means you no longer feel the sting of their words or deeds. This lack of emotional impact is key to their psychological survival. There is no shame or guilt to trigger their defenses, making it easier for them to avoid responsibility and continue playing the blame game.

The Apology as a Manipulative Tactic

When a narcissist apologizes, it’s often a calculated move to regain your attention. They will appear as if nothing has changed, as if they are your long-lost friends. This is not coincidence; it’s a strategic test of your emotional reaction. They know that if you react, their game can continue. However, if you have maintained your indifference, their apology might just be a last-ditch attempt to manipulate you once again.

The Importance of Indifference

Indifference is a powerful tool in reclaiming control from a narcissist. Attention is their Achilles heel. By denying them this, whether through positive or negative reactions, you take the upper hand. They know they once impressed you, so they continue to believe they can manipulate you. This is the driving force behind their hovering behavior, a calculated tactic to test if they can re-enter your world.

Related Reading

8 Hoovering Tactics of a Narcissist 7 Ways Narcissists Spy on You 12 Signs Someone is a Narcissist How to Outsmart a Narcissist - 7 Tips How to Make a Narcissist Feel Threatened - 7 Tips 7 Stages of Detoxing from a Narcissist Expect This If a Narcissist Knows You’re Onto Them 7 Phrases of the Empath that Destroy the Narcissist 11 Common Ways a Covert Narcissist Punishes You

Their apologies, even when they seem genuine, are often part of a broader pattern of psychological manipulation. It’s important to recognize these tactics and respond in a way that doesn’t reinforce their control over you. Remember, the key is to maintain your emotional distance and stay true to yourself.