Unusual Ways of Showing Love in Nigeria: The Tragedy of Elite Burials
The concept of showing love to relatives in Nigeria, especially in the Southern parts, is not as straightforward as one might think. While many people around the world celebrate life, some cultural practices in Nigeria highlight unusual ways of honoring the dead. One such practice involves lavish burials that often ignore the living relatives, truly displaying a twisted sense of love and cultural significance.
Dead Relatives and the Burial Celebration
In Nigeria, especially in the Southern region, the death of a relative is often marked by a grand celebration rather than the care and support provided during their lifetime. My great grandmother, who lived her last period of life in abject poverty, might be serving as a poignant example. Despite being a solid woman who could tolerate any nonsense, her life was fraught with unimaginable challenges.
She often worked the land, farming under the blazing sun with an ancient iron waist, a simple reflective of her rural lifestyle. Her home, though clean, was in dire need of repair. The roof was torn, allowing moonlight to pierce through, and during the rainy season, her home resembled a reservoir with more buckets to collect rainwater than any outside.
Her children, who could afford better, often neglected her. They viewed her as a 'wasted investment' and paid her little heed, until the day she died. Then the true test of love and respect was revealed. Money was spent lavishly on a grand burial, complete with funeral cows, a fine musician, wine, gin, and a new house built to house the corpse and mourners.
Elite Burials and Societal Norms
The practice of burying the elite with extravagant displays of wealth is not uncommon in Nigerian society. Some individuals, like a Nigerian billionaire, have even buried their mothers in lavish vehicles like a Hummer Jeep. This demonstrates a stark cultural divide where the celebration of death overshadows the nurturing and support given to the living.
Many argue that such behavior is a matter of personal choice: 'it’s none of your business, you do yours.' However, this practice raises serious ethical questions about the value of life and love. While some may argue that lavish funerals bring honor and respect to the deceased, others see it as a cruel form of neglect, a societal norm where love is showcased only posthumously.
A Call for Change
Reflecting on such practices, one cannot help but feel that the true essence of love and respect for a loved one is being compromised. The story of my great grandmother serves as a reminder that the roots of love should be found in care and support, not in a grand funeral or lavish burial. A more appropriate way to show love is by ensuring that an elderly relative has access to basic healthcare, proper nutrition, and a comfortable living environment. Such gestures are far more meaningful than any extravagant display of wealth at a funeral.
Rather than spending vast sums on lavish funerals, it is essential to support the living. I believe that the highest form of love is shown through actions that cater to the needs of the living. If loved ones are gone, the best tribute is simply a respectful and dignified burial without the embellishments of grand celebrations. A life lived with dignity should be cherished, and death should pass without unnecessary grand ostentation.
While traditional practices are rooted in cultural and societal norms, the values of love, respect, and compassion demand a reevaluation of how we honor the dead. Let us strive to show the living the love we owe them, and let the legacy of our loved ones be remembered through their contributions rather than the displays of wealth in their final moments.