Understanding the Dissociative Experience: Insights from a Person with Dissociative Identity Disorder

Having dissociative identity disorder (DID) is a complex and often misunderstood condition. It involves the presence of two or more distinct identities or parts of identity that recurrently take control of an individual's behavior. This article aims to provide a deeper understanding of the dissociative experience, based on the insights of a person with DID.

What is Dissociative Identity Disorder?

Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) is a mental health condition where a person experiences multiple identities or personalities. These identities compete for control of the individual's behavior, thought, and actions. While people with DID often have significant disruptions in their everyday functioning, they may experience everyday challenges in ways that are unique and distinct from one another.

Understanding the Dissociative Experience

The person with DID explains that their experience of dissociation is not like being asleep. Instead, it is a disconnection from one's own body and feelings, often described as being in a daze or as a state of zoning out. Here are some key aspects of their experience:

Status of Consciousness

On one end of the continuum, the person feels almost aware but cannot respond in the moment; it is only later that they can recall what happened. This dissociative state can be described as a daze or a trance. On the other end, the person can react, feeling a slight distance as if they are witnessing their actions from a third-person perspective, much like watching a film or being in a dream. For them, the experience is highly individual and dependent on their personal circumstances and the specific alter in control.

Amnesia and Dissociation

The individual also mentions severe dissociative amnesia, which adds another layer of complexity to their experience. Sometimes, when they "front," (i.e., when a specific alter assumes control), they feel as if they have just woken up after what feels like a night's rest, even though it may be a mere moment in time. This phenomenon can sometimes be mistaken for a sleep blackout, but it is distinct and can vary from one alter to another, adding to the unique nature of their experiences.

Emotional Experience and Disconnection

There is a difference between feeling disconnected from one's body and feeling disconnected from the experiences of the other personalities. The person describes feeling completely disconnected from certain alters and even disliking them. However, some alters can be co-present with their core self and can be enjoyed by the individual. This duality of feeling can be confusing and challenging to navigate.

Treatment and Impact

The journey of treatment for dissociative identity disorder can vary from person to person. For some, the process can depend on how quickly the alters switch control. The frequency and intensity of these switches can significantly impact the dissociative experience. If the switch is not fully conscious, there may be a sense of time and memory loss. In contrast, if the switch is more conscious, there may be a sense of reorientation and even partial integration of the new identity.

“If a non-conscious alter takes over, there may be a sense of time and memory loss, often mistaken for a sleep blackout. If conscious, the alter may take over specific aspects of communication that interest them.”

At times, the disconnection can be so profound that it is mistaken for a different mental health condition, such as schizophrenia. However, it is important to distinguish these states to provide the right support and treatment.

Personal Insight and Treatment

The individual provides a unique insight into their treatment process, emphasizing the importance of a slow switch to manage the dissociative experience effectively. Rapid switching can lead to a state of schizophrenia-like behavior. However, if the switches are fast and occur without significant dissociation, the individual may feel more in control and integrated.

Conclusion

Understanding the dissociative experience of a person with Dissociative Identity Disorder provides a valuable perspective on this complex condition. While the experience of DID is highly individual, it is characterized by a range of experiences, including altered states of consciousness, amnesia, and emotional disconnection.

For those seeking to understand or support someone with DID, it is essential to approach the condition with empathy and a willingness to learn about the individual's unique experience.