Choosing the Underrated Weapon for a Zombie Apocalypse

Zombie apocalypses often bring out the most practical and unconventional weapons. However, beyond the obvious weapons like guns, knives, and axes, there are a few less recognized tools that can be incredibly effective in the fight against the living dead. This article delves into some underrated weapons that can give you the upper hand in a zombie outbreak.

Communication is Key

One of the least expected yet highly effective weapons is the ability to talk. Zombies are typically depicted as brainless, mindless creatures, but adding the element of surprise can turn the tables. When a zombie approaches, its sudden cognitive shift can momentarily unsettle it, allowing you to take advantage of the situation. Zombies that can communicate pose a larger threat, so a talking zombie could shake the faith of the survivors and create an opening for you to neutralize the threat. By leveraging this advantage, you can cautiously approach and settle your defenses, giving you a strategic upper hand in any encounter.

The Bardiche: Distance and Defense

For those who prefer a more tactical advantage, consider the bardiche. This long, versatile polearm was historically used by warriors to clear large battlefield obstacles, and it excels in the zombie apocalypse as well. The long shaft of the bardiche provides a significant range advantage, allowing you to attack from a distance and avoid unwanted close encounters with the undead. It's also highly effective for crowd control, pushing back groups of zombies and creating vital breathing room. Its design also allows for multiple angles of attack, making it a highly adaptable weapon in various combat scenarios.

Traditional Farm Tools

Two underrated yet highly effective weapons are the pitchfork and the sling. Both are commonly found on farms and prove to be indispensable in an apocalypse scenario. Pitchforks are particularly useful as they are effective at stopping and poking zombies. Unlike guns, which can be loud and potentially attract more zombies, a pitchfork is silent and can be used to hold a zombie at bay without the risk of spreading the infection. Simply stick the fork into a zombie's chest and hold it with the tip exposed, keeping the zombie at a safe distance and preventing it from coming any closer.

The sling, on the other hand, is a classic and surprisingly effective weapon in a long-term scenario. Given the long-term nature of a zombie apocalypse, saving ammunition and minimizing noise are often more critical than sheer firepower. The sling is a versatile tool that can be trained with relative ease. By practicing and honing your slinging skills, you can split zombie skulls with any good-sized strip of cloth and a rock, making it a reliable and efficient weapon. This silent and low-maintenance method of defense is perfect for conserving precious resources and remaining unseen during tense moments.

Levity in the Face of Doom

Considering the grim and often chaotic nature of a zombie apocalypse, it’s worth noting that sometimes, unconventional weapons can be just as effective. For example, TV remotes can be a comical yet surprisingly practical weapon. The idea of a flashlight with a button to kill zombies might seem far-fetched, but in the right hands, it can serve as a powerful tool to knock out zombies. More importantly, they are quiet, require no ammunition, and are always readily available in a modern home. Politically, a TV remote can also be an effective weapon, turning the situation into a humorous and lighter scenario to boost morale.

Lastly, it’s important to recognize that in a long-term apocalypse scenario, zombies themselves can be a source of unintended weakness. Under stress and in prolonged survival conditions, zombies are known to break apart and have a very short lifespan. This can be a significant advantage if you can spot and exploit these vulnerabilities. Consumer Reports and even Amazon Prime feedback on zombies would rate them around a 0, as they are not verified under real-life conditions, making them unpredictable and easier to take down.

While the idea of a zombie apocalypse might seem far-fetched, preparing with unconventional and effective weapons can give you an edge in ensuring survival. Whether it’s leveraging communication, using medieval weapons like the bardiche, or relying on traditional farm tools and household items, the right weapon can make all the difference in staying alive when the world as we know it ends.