The Worst Kind of Friend in High School: Traits to Avoid
It's a common experience for many of us, especially during our high school days. Friendship is often compared to a two-way street, but in the worst scenarios, it can feel more like a one-way path where one person takes advantage of another. Here, we'll explore the traits of friends that can make high school a difficult and even harmful experience. By recognizing these patterns, you can avoid certain individuals and foster healthier relationships.
1. Pretending to Be a Friend
These friends present a facade of loyalty and support to gain popularity. They might spend a lot of time with you but only to be seen as 'friends,' rather than because they genuinely care about you. This kind of behavior can lead to feelings of loneliness and a lack of authenticity in your relationships. It's important to recognize their intentions and not let them affect your self-worth.
2. Hanging Out to Be Seen
Some individuals pretend to be your friend solely to increase their social standing. They might reference you in conversations with others to create the perception of a strong social network. While this can be flattering, it's also often superficial. True friendships are built on mutual respect and understanding, not just popularity.
3. Secretly Talking Behind Your Back
When someone is happy to share your secrets with others but wouldn't consider discussing theirs, this is a serious red flag. This behavior can damage your trust and potentially hurt both you and the person you've shared with. Maintain open and honest communication with your friends to build a strong foundation of trust.
4. Romantic and Sexual Interactions with Others
If a friend consistently hooks up with other people, it can create a competitive and jealous environment. They might also use this as a way to gain more attention or manipulate you. This behavior should be addressed directly to ensure both parties are comfortable and respected in the relationship.
5. Substance Users
Drugs and alcohol can severely impact your judgment and behavior. If a friend is involved with these substances, they may encourage you to use them too or expose you to risky situations. It's crucial to set clear boundaries and prioritize your well-being.
6. Lying and Cheating
Lies and cheating can break trust and undermine your relationship. Consistently being lied to can make you question everything the person says. Cheating can also lead to feelings of insecurity and self-doubt. It's important to address these issues early to salvage the relationship if possible, or to find new friends who are truthful and honest.
7. Rude Behavior
Poor behavior and attitudes can make your life difficult. This might include name-calling, belittling, or consistently dismissing your opinions and ideas. A friend should respect and validate you. If this is a recurring issue, it's time to reassess your friendship.
8. Spread Gossip and False Information
Trust is the bedrock of any relationship. If someone consistently shares things about you that you did not tell them, or if they share information that isn't true, it can be damaging. Verify information with the source before sharing anything about others. Communicate openly and honestly to clarify any misunderstandings and restore trust.
9. Criminal Minds
A friend with criminal tendencies can expose you to dangerous situations. They might involve you in illegal activities or harm your reputation. If you're in a position where a friend is pushing you to do something you're uncomfortable with, it's important to have a serious conversation about their intentions and the consequences of their actions.
10. Involvement with Drugs and Vaping
Tobacco and vaping can have severe health consequences. If a friend is actively using these substances, it can be harmful not just to their health but to yours through secondhand exposure. Consider having an open discussion about the effects of these substances and the importance of maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
11. Keeping You Away from Family and Friends
Friends should support and encourage you to maintain a healthy social life. If they are isolating you from your family and close friends, it can be a sign that they are trying to manipulate you into spending all your time with them. This can lead to loneliness and a lack of support when you need it most. Seek out friendships that promote balance and support.
12. Taking Control of Your Life
A friend who tries to control your decisions and actions is a sign of an unhealthy dynamic. They might dictate what you should do, who you should be friends with, or what you should think. This kind of behavior is not healthy and can lead to resentment and a loss of your personal autonomy. Stand firm in your decisions and boundaries.
13. Threatening Messages
Receiving threatening messages or being made to feel unsafe can be alarming. Friends should make you feel secure and supported, not threatened or intimidated. If you're in a dangerous situation, consider seeking help from a trusted adult or counselor.
14. False Best Friends
Many friendships are built on the foundation of believing someone is your best friend. However, if someone behaves in the ways mentioned above, it's important to reassess this belief. True best friends will consistently show you their support, trust, and honesty, not just when it's convenient for them.
Conclusion
The quality of your friendships can significantly impact your high school experience. While not all these traits will apply to every individual, recognizing them can help you develop healthier relationships and avoid harmful ones. Remember, true friendship is built on trust, honesty, support, and mutual respect.