The Scapegoat in the Narcissistic Family: A Psychological Perspective
When dealing with a family or individual afflicted with narcissistic traits, a common question arises: which family member is more likely to seek revengethe scapegoat or the so-called 'golden child'? While both can potentially seek revenge, the psychological dynamics point to the scapegoat as the most likely candidate. This article delves into the complexities of this phenomenon and the underlying psychological reasons for such behavior.
Understanding the Scapegoat
The term scapegoat refers to the person who is blamed for the wrongs committed by a group, often facing abuse and isolation. In the context of a narcissistic family, the scapegoat is often unfairly targeted and subjected to repeated abuse, leading to a sense of injustice and a strong desire for revenge.
Take, for instance, the individual who has been the scapegoat of two families. This person has lived a lifetime of confusion and sadness, dealing with parental figures and siblings who have manipulated and abused them. The stepmother has further complicated matters by driving a wedge between them and their father, leading to a painful and isolating situation. Retribution becomes a necessity for the scapegoat.
In the words of a victim described above, the stark reality is that the narcissist's behavior is not just about personal conflict but about a disease that demands to be nurtured. The narcissist needs to feel like they are always winning, even until the very end of their life. The psychological battle against such a person is not just for the individual but against a disease that seeks to turn everyone into collateral damage.
Golden Children and Their Traits
On the other hand, the 'golden child'typically portrayed as the favored child in a familydoes not suffer the same fate as the scapegoat. While these children often have a facade of well-being, their psychological traits can be deeply flawed. They may exhibit signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) or worse, malignant narcissism. Other traits include spineless sadism, psychopathy, and the potential for serial killer behaviors.
It is crucial not to trust the golden child. They are often caught in the same web of deception and entitlement as the narcissistic parent, and as such, they may possess the same destructive tendencies. For instance, they might volunteer to do dirty work for someone important, only to be disappointed when the favor is not reciprocated. This is a common pattern in families where a narcissistic parent imposes their will and manipulates others into compliance.
Psychological Dynamics and Revenge Seeking
Psychologically, the dynamic between the narcissist and their victims is complex. Most humans, regardless of gender, race, age, or culture, tend to forgive offenses against themselves more readily than against loved ones. Narcissists, however, fail to understand the concept of cause and effect, believing they can use others for their own gain without consequence. This self-absorption often leads to extreme behaviors and a relentless pursuit of revenge.
The narcissist's manipulation and abuse create a highly toxic environment, and victims, especially those who are scapegoated, are often left with a deep sense of injustice and a desire for retribution. When loved ones of a victim are also harmed, the potential for revenge is elevated, and the chances of extreme, life-altering actions increase. The victim's desire for revenge is not just about personal gain but about restoring a sense of fairness and justice.
Concluding Thoughts
While both the scapegoat and the golden child can seek revenge, the psychological dynamics suggest that the scapegoat is more likely to do so due to the profound sense of injustice and isolation they experience. The golden child, though, may still harbor the same traits and tendencies, making them a formidable adversary. In dealing with such situations, it is crucial to understand the psychological underpinnings and the complex interplay of dynamics within the family or group.
Remember, the battle against a narcissist is not just about personal survival but about confronting a disease that thrives on manipulation and control. Understanding these complexities can help in seeking justice and healing for those affected by narcissistic behavior.