The Naivest Things Said to Someone With Depression: Dispelling Misunderstandings
It's important to approach the topic of depression with empathy and understanding. However, there are certain statements that, while well-intentioned, can be incredibly dismissive and even harmful. Perhaps the most tedious and naive advice is telling someone with depression to simply 'get over it.' This notion is not only misguided but also potentially damaging to those dealing with mental health challenges.
The Harm of Saying "Just Get Over It"
One of the most frequent comments heard from people experiencing depression is 'just get over it.' Typically, a person going through depression requires more than just a simple mindset adjustment. Most often, treatment combines counseling and, in many cases, medication to restore chemical balance in the brain. Depression is a serious mental health disorder, and without proper treatment, it can persist and worsen.
Other Common Misunderstandings
Another naive statement often heard is 'I was depressed for a month, and I just listened to music and felt better.' While it's true that some individuals may naturally bounce back from mild depressions, serious chronic depression is a much more complex issue. Comparing a brief period of sadness to a lifelong mental health condition is akin to comparing a stubbed toe to a leg amputation. It minimizes the severity and reality of the situation.
A third common example is when someone says, 'Hey, just think positive or go for a walk, and you’ll snap out of it.' While it's true that activities like exercise and mindfulness can help, they are not a cure-all for depression. Depression is often a result of chemical imbalances in the brain that may require specific medical intervention.
Specific Case Study: A Personal Journey
I remember a conversation with a friend on Yahoo Messenger. One of his responses was 'when I'm down, I tell myself that today was the best day of my life and tomorrow will be even better!' While this approach might work for some, it felt like burying one's head in the sand for those struggling with serious depression. It's important to acknowledge and address the underlying issues rather than ignoring them.
A common phrase that still resonates is 'just cheer up! It's not that bad! Just think positive!' This can be frustrating to hear when someone is going through a challenging time. While it's true that maintaining a positive mindset can be beneficial, depression is often the result of a chemical imbalance that cannot be solely managed by positive thoughts. Instead, it often requires professional help.
In my experience, I've dealt with dysthymia, a low-grade form of depression, for most of my life. I've had some acute episodes and have managed them without relying on antidepressants, although I've had poor experiences with them in the past. I found that an amazing therapist who taught me to accept my feelings and gave me tools to deal with them more productively was incredibly helpful. This approach allowed me to manage my depression more effectively.
Everyone will encounter bad days and moments of sadness. It's entirely acceptable to feel down sometimes, but it's crucial to honor these feelings and then move past them to continue with daily life. Simply telling someone to 'snap out of it' or 'think positive' can be invalidating and unhelpful for those dealing with depression. Instead, empathy, understanding, and proper professional care can make a significant difference.