The Most Useless Weapons in Elder Scrolls Video Game History

While the Elder Scrolls video game series is renowned for intricate storytelling and diverse weapons, some creations stand out as particularly useless. These weapons range from massive one-handed swords that do nothing, to magically ineffective forks, to daggers that heal as they damage. Let's dive into the most useless weapons in the Elder Scrolls lore.

Ancestral Sword of Clan Ice-Blade in Skyrim

In Skyrim, there is an oddly named and surprisingly useless weapon: the Ancestral Sword of Clan Ice-Blade. Although it bears a magnificent appearance and is considered a massive one-handed sword, it has 0 damage! This might seem counterintuitive, but when you see the name 'Clan Ice-Blade,' it seems less mysterious. However, if you overlook the 'Ancestral' part, this sword can be a bit disappointing. Not only does it offer no combat advantage, but it’s also redeeming in the sense that it can still boost your one-handed skill. Its 'in-game' item description doesn't mention turn undead, but it comes with a minor enchantment that might be useful against undead enemies, if you consider 0 damage as an advantage.

Note: The Ancestral Sword is a creation club item, which means it's a fan-made weapon and not officially part of the main game. However, it still holds a special place in the lore of those who stumbled upon it.

The Fork of Horripilation

The second useless weapon to mention is the Fork of Horripilation in Skyrim. This weapon is intentionally created to serve as a joke, dealing only 1–2 damage. But that's not all! The Fork of Horripilation comes with an enchantment that rapidly drains your magicka, making you unable to cast spells. This weapon is associated with several Sheogorath quests, aligning perfectly with the chaotic god's nature.

For a weapon that can be used for level advancement, this fork is definitely one of the weakest in the game. Using it in battle is akin to inviting your own downfall, as it saps your magical energy while only dealing minimal damage. A truly unusable and fitting item for a game that often combines comedy and serious gameplay.

Dagger of Friendship in Oblivion

The third and perhaps the most intriguing weapon in the Elder Scrolls series is the Dagger of Friendship in Oblivion. This dagger, a seemingly useless piece of weapon, deals 10 points of damage but also heals 10 points of health to your target. For the wielder, the damage and healing cancel each other out, resulting in exactly 0 damage dealt.

The Dagger of Friendship is the epitome of a weapon that should be avoided in any deadly situation. It's a plot device, a paradox, and a reminder that some things in life—and games—are better left alone. A regular Dragonborn or even a mere mortal would not consider taking this dagger into battle, yet its use in the storyline adds a unique layer of complexity to character interactions.

These are just a few examples of the many unique and quirky weapons found in the Elder Scrolls series. From forks that deal no damage to daggers that heal as they damage, these weapons add an element of humor and surprise to an otherwise complex and immersive world.