The Impossible Desire: My Unfulfilled Passion and Struggles
Life is a mix of fulfilling dreams and unmet desires. There are moments when you suddenly realize that there's a part of you that yearns for something so deeply, that you find it nearly impossible to achieve. For me, that unfulfilled desire is video editing. I have a burning passion for it, but life’s challenges often stand in the way.
My Love for Video Editing
I might not be one of those big influencers, but I love crafting short, dynamic edits. I enjoy experimenting with different apps, mixing and matching elements to keep my content light and entertaining. Every now and then, I try to spread a positive message through my creations. It’s a hobby that brings joy and fulfillment, but alas, it has to take a back seat to more pressing priorities.
Since my 10th grade exams, finding time to engage in my passion has been a constant struggle. Like many students, I aspire to excel in my academic pursuits. My goal is to ace these exams and then explore the fascinating world of video editing more thoroughly. The path ahead is admittedly a long and winding one, but I hold onto the hope that I can eventually achieve my dream.
Challenges in the Real World
Some of my attempts to engage in hobbies can turn out to be quite dangerous or even impossible. Case in point is my fascination with activities that are potentially lethal or illegal. Just thinking about these activities makes me realize how far removed I am from them in reality.
For example, I used to dream about using knives or fire in creative ways, but after a close encounter with a crow bar last year, I became acutely aware of the risks. These experiences taught me to respect the limits of my own desires and the realities of the world.
The Struggle of Real Touch
Stepping out and facing the world can be a daunting task. A few months ago, I found myself in a market with my mother. She was looking for a saree, and I seized an opportunity to buy earrings for her as a gift. After finding the perfect pair in just a few minutes, I decided to try a bit of bargaining. You see, I had set my inner voice on a mission: I wouldn’t pay the full price; I would negotiate.
Just as I was about to propose a lower price, my mother appeared, and I nervously presented the earrings to her. But instead of rejoicing, she asked, “How much did you pay for these?” The shopkeeper confirmed the price, and then my mother countered with, “Pack this one for only 30.”
My satisfaction turned to regret within seconds. I realized that I often end up paying more than the actual value of the item, especially when it comes to bargaining. It’s a lesson in patience and strategic thinking.
The Alcoholic's Battle
There are other desires that, while not illegal, can be harmful. My love for alcohol is a prime example. From my teenage days in the woods to today, alcohol has a magical quality that transforms my personality. It turns a shy, bullied kid into a confident, relaxed, and social individual. However, this enjoyment comes with a heavy cost. For health reasons, I have had to abstain from alcohol for several years now.
Drinking alcohol has been like trying to put out a fire with lighter fluid. Each time I imbibe, I risk losing control and drink to the point of blackout, where I cannot remember driving home. To be honest, I’ve already done it, and it’s not a risk I’m willing to take anymore. Safety and responsibility were the driving forces behind my decision to stop drinking.
Today, I stand proud of my sobriety, which has been 37 days and counting. I hold onto the hope that science may one day develop a drug that delivers the same positive effects of alcohol without the negative side effects. Of course, for now, my focus remains on staying sober and living a healthier lifestyle.
Life is full of challenges, and sometimes our desires seem impossible to achieve. But with determination and the willingness to face our limitations, we can find ways to pursue our passions and live a fulfilling life.