The Importance of Manners: A Reflection on Generational Change
It is often said that today's generation lacks basic manners, and social anxiety is often cited as a reason. While it's important to understand the context in which today's manners may differ, the significance of manners goes beyond mere etiquette. Good manners are essential to protecting one's reputation and fostering respectful relationships. They are not just an outer layer but a critical component of one's character.
Manners and Reputation
Manners are not about pleasing others; they are about protecting and enhancing your reputation. Manners serve as the outer layer that shapes how others perceive you. Your achievements might be the heart, but good manners are the skin that surrounds them. This is especially true for professionals and in social settings, where first impressions can significantly impact how others perceive you and your professionalism.
The Evolution of Manners
There is a perception that the generation born in the 1940s to 1960s had better manners than those born in the 1980s and onwards. However, this is not entirely accurate. Good manners are an essential part of social behavior, and many young adults today still exhibit respect, courtesy, and politeness. Unfortunately, there seems to be a decline in some basic manners, even among adults.
Basic Qualities of Sophistication
Some of the most basic qualities of sophistication include knowing when and how to apologize, never being late for special events, and showing respect to both the young and the old. Humility was once a crucial status symbol in the world of manners, and good manners were often a prerequisite for womanhood. Many schools held pageants like 'Miss Budding Young Lady,' where participants were judged based on their manners and etiquette.
The Underlying Issue: Feelings
The primary reason why many adults lack basic manners is not a lack of knowledge or teaching about etiquette. Etiquette is a set of rules specific to cultures and societies, but the real issue lies in the feelings behind these manners. Feelings are divided into two categories: feelings for others and feelings for oneself. It is the latter that is often overlooked.
Monk Example
Imagine a monk placed in a foreign land where no one knows he is a monk, and he is not in the presence of his comrades and masters. If someone says something bad to him, he will not curse back. This is because he feels no harm in being impolite; he values respect and kindness.
The same principle applies in everyday life. If you do not feel bad about being impolite or insensitive, you do not harm others. However, you do harm to yourself. When you treat others disrespectfully, you ruin your reputation and make others see you as rude and unpleasant. Proper manners are not just about outward behavior; they are about the internal feelings that guide your actions.
Manners as a Badge of Personal Honor
Manners are first and foremost a badge of personal honor. When you treat others with respect and kindness, you respect yourself. You earn the respect of others, which adds value to your personal honor. It is essential to cultivate these values, as they not only reflect well on you but also contribute to a more harmonious society.
Encouraging Good Manners
To encourage good manners, it is important to first understand and acknowledge their significance. Parents, educators, and society as a whole should emphasize the importance of manners from a young age. This can be achieved through consistent teaching, setting examples, and reinforcing positive behaviors. By doing so, we can help ensure that the younger generation grows up with the respect and dignity that good manners embody.