The Evolution of Self-Confidence and Growth: A Personal Journey Through Time

My father's behavior changed dramatically from my childhood to my adulthood, leading me to question whether it was due to aging or his inherent nature. Irrespective of the reason, I found myself less fond of his emotions and behavior, as we were both quite different in mindset. This essay explores my transformation from a more reserved and cautious individual to a more confident version of myself.

Evolution from Childhood to Adulthood

Childhood Personality: When I was younger, I was a person who would hesitate to venture out into the world on my own. Buying food from a nearby vendor, trying new cafes, or strolling alone at the mall were actions I was too shy to attempt.

I never ventured out alone to buy sate ayam from a local vendor, even though it was just a short distance from my home. Insecurities about my personal image often prevented me from going to cafes alone, even if it was a new one. The mall was a place I would avoid, fearing judgment and pressure from others. The thought of accidents deterred me from driving a motorbike or car, as I was particularly safety-conscious. University activities were something I refrained from participating in, as the possibility of standing out or being judged was daunting.

Current Personality: As I grew older, I began to embrace these activities with confidence and a newfound freedom. My transformation was not just about actions but also about attitude. Here's a glimpse into my current lifestyle:

I now buy sate ayam and other food items alone from nearby vendors, even if it's further from my home. Although I still occasionally hesitate, I have grown more confident in trying new cafes alone, especially if they are familiar to me. I find joy in solo strolls at the mall, where I can have my own space to relax. Driving and traveling to different cities on my own have become more casual, even with my father as my co-pilot. Future-oriented thinking has pushed me to actively participate in college activities, improving my resume and professional image for the future.

Struggles and Growth

Alongside my personal evolution, there have been challenges and growth in other aspects of my life. For instance, during my elementary years, I disliked one of my teachers, although I am not naming names. This experience taught me that not everyone we encounter will have a positive impact, and it's essential to find healthy boundaries.

I remember having a romantic interest in someone during my college days. We were happy for a while, but eventually, we parted ways. Coincidentally, I did two tarot readings, and both times the messages were similar, suggesting that I should focus on my career and personal development rather than seeking a romantic relationship.

My relationship with my mother has been complex. She has a mindset that she never considers herself wrong, regardless of her actions. This attitude often leads to conflicts, as her defensive nature can be frustrating. My attempts to communicate effectively have been met with interruptions, making dialogue between us a challenge. Despite this, I am determined to communicate my needs clearly for better understanding.

Conclusion

Throughout life, I have undergone significant personal growth, moving from a cautious and reserved individual to a more confident and assertive person. Along the way, I have faced numerous challenges that have helped shape my mindset and behavior. As I continue to evolve, I am committed to embracing new experiences and opportunities that will enrich my life and contribute to my success.

With that said, I hope my journey can inspire others to embrace change and personal growth.