Understanding Shyness and Crushes

Yes, it is common for shy individuals to feel nervous or anxious around someone they have a crush on. This can manifest as feeling tongue-tied, avoiding eye contact, or even completely freezing up. The sensitive ones among us are well aware of these feelings. However, what we usually don't know is that our crush is likely feeling just as nervous.

Often, it's easy to assume that we are the only ones who struggle with these feelings. In reality, many people share this anxiety. It might be tempting to ramble or smile uncontrollably in these moments. However, it's essential to remember that every shy person is different, just like how every introvert and extrovert has unique traits and reactions.

Defining a Crush

A crush is generally defined as someone you find so attractive that you can only see them with rose-colored glasses. You might describe them as perfect or perfect for you. This feeling is often amplified by our hormones, which, as we all know, ensure the continuation of the human race.

For shy or once-shy individuals like me, the thought of approaching a crush can trigger overwhelming emotions. Our hormones might bark in huge bold letters, urging us to combine our DNA with the attractive person immediately. In contrast, a fully socialized human being would likely feel anxious and unsure about how to proceed.

The Path to Overcoming Shyness

The journey to overcoming shyness and successfully talking to women you find attractive can be daunting. Here's a secret that helped me: talk to people about shared interests. The more you practice, the more comfortable you become in social situations. This was a pivotal moment for me, and it involved getting a job in tech support for an Internet Service Provider (ISP) in the 1990s.

Initially, this setting provided a safe space where I could practice talking to people about topics I was knowledgeable about. The conversations were strictly professional, ensuring that I would not discuss anything related to kissing, dating, or sex. I conversed with individuals of varying degrees of attractiveness, gaining invaluable experience and confidence.

Gradually, I began to discuss other interests with people, usually in settings involving coffee, food, or beer, commonly known as "clubs," "meetups," or "munches." Sometimes, these conversations took place in church, but I haven't had any interest in church since I was about 15. The more friends I made across genders and diverse interests, the easier it became to approach them for a date.

Lessening the Impact of Shyness

Yes, shy guys often freeze in front of their crushes. However, the more socially adept you become, the less these feelings will manifest. You'll start to realize that the person you have a crush on might not be as perfect as you imagine. Often, compatibility with you is also questionable.

The key to overcoming these feelings lies in consistent practice and conversation about common interests. By doing so, you build confidence and create a foundation for successful interactions. Remember, the more you practice and engage, the more comfortable you will become in social settings.

Conclusion

Shyness is a common trait, and it's natural to feel anxious around someone you have a crush on. However, by focusing on shared interests and practicing social interactions, you can overcome these feelings and build confidence. Embrace the journey and the opportunities that come with expanding your social circle. Who knows, you might even discover that your crush isn't as perfect as you thought!