Reflections on Sisterly Love and Redemption

I have three siblings: an older sister and two younger brothers. We are all fairly close to one another in terms of emotional bonds. We get along well, and we are quite a funny bunch when we come together.

While I love all my siblings, I have a special place in my heart for my youngest brother. He is nine and a half years younger than I am. Our relationship was normal until he entered grade school. I always believed him to be different. He didn't act like kids his age--he was into things that I thought were odd. His knowledge of different religions and his thirst for knowledge about ancient composers were perplexing. Who at such a young age does this?

Because I thought he was odd, I didn't treat him well. If I spoke to him at all, I was rude. Over the years, I'm sure I was hurting him, and one day when my mother told me that he said I hated him, I felt tremendous guilt.

A Moment of Truth

After I left home, things settled down. I saw him rarely, but when I did, I could see he desperately craved acceptance from me. He would timidly walk up to me and try to have a conversation. But I remained relentless in my feelings, convinced that I hated him. I hate myself for being that way.

The Turning Point

One day in my late 30s, I was sitting at home when a wave of unexplainable emotions hit me. He was in my mind, and I knew I needed to talk to him. I called him one evening and told him I needed to speak with him. I could barely speak through my sobs, but he quietly listened as I told him how sorry I was for being so unkind and for ignoring him. I was as if he was not there. I repeatedly said how I thought his interests were weird and didn't accept him and his uniqueness as special.

A Redemption Offering

I apologized for everything I could think of and then asked him if he would forgive me. He didn't flinch. He said, 'Of course. I love you.' Through my sobbing and struggling to get my words out, he kept saying it's okay. It's okay.

But it's not okay. It's never okay to break the spirit of any human being. As a little boy, he should have felt safe with his big sister, but he didn't. Those are years I can never take back, and they still hurt me. And although I would have protected him from anyone else, he had no way of knowing that at the time.

Today's Relationship

Today, I have a wonderful and very tight relationship with one of the loveliest and most generous people I've ever known. He has a kind heart and a beautiful soul. He cares deeply for his family, and his love for me is immeasurable. I consider him to be one of my best friends.

I love you, brother.

Conclusion

Emotional connections within a family are precious. Our siblings are the people who often push us the hardest and require the most growth and understanding. My story is a reminder that no matter how much time passes, it's never too late to apologize and seek redemption. It's also a testament to the enduring power of love and forgiveness, especially between siblings.