What Are the Rules You Were Told to Follow by Your Parents?

Growing up, we are often subjected to a set of rules and regulations set forth by our parents. These rules, while sometimes stringent, are meant to provide guidance and structure for our lives. In my case, the rules instilled by my parents have significantly influenced my behavior and values, shaping me into the person I am today.

The Importance of Manners Over Grades

The most important rule instilled by my parents was the necessity of having good manners. This rule held more weight than academic performance. Sure, academic success was important, but there was no tolerance for anything less than proper etiquette.

Always be truthful and trustworthy. To go shopping, I had to dress up; jeans were not allowed. I had to dress for the occasion; hanging up clothes properly was crucial. Always say please and thank you. At the dinner table, I must always remember to place my napkin on my lap. It’s important to wait for the host or hostess to begin eating. When invited for a meal, offer your help in clearing the table. Never go to someone’s house empty-handed. Always help the elderly, especially if they look like they need assistance. Return phone calls promptly. Be polite and courteous in interactions. During introductions, extend your hand and say it's a pleasure to meet them.

These rules might seem trivial, but they instilled in me the importance of respect, kindness, and consideration for others. They taught me the value of etiquette and how it can enhance one's interactions with others.

Rules from a Divorced Home

My parents are divorced, and each one has their own set of rules. While my mother's rules are more typical of those for teenage children, my father’s rules held more significance. He emphasized two crucial points: avoid driving under the influence (DUI) and don't become unintentionally responsible for a pregnancy. He often said, "Anything else we can fix."

Despite the distinct rules of each parent, I experienced a blend of them during my upbringing. These rules, though rigid at times, provided a solid foundation for my personal and social development.

Specific Rules and Their Consequences

I grew up with a number of specific rules that were firmly established. Here are three of them:

No back talking. No cuss words. No getting Cs or worse on your test, quiz, or exam. No more than 20 minutes of electronics everyday. No refusing everything your parents say you have to do. Cooperate with punishments. Bedtime at 7:30 pm until the age of 5, then every five years, bedtime becomes 1 hour later. Wake up at 7:30 am even on weekends. Bring everything needed for school. Stretch before going to bed and waking up, as I was a gymnast and needed flexibility.

Violating any of these rules would result in a spanking as a form of discipline. These rules, while strict, were meant to instill discipline and responsibility in me.

The Scope of Parental Rules

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Parents often impose rules on their children to ensure that they grow up to become responsible, respectful, and considerate individuals. It's easy to dismiss these rules as restrictive, but they serve a vital purpose. Parents are not just imposing limits; they are setting boundaries that promote a sense of discipline and structure. Moreover, these rules provide a framework for children to navigate social and personal challenges.

Common sense rules, such as having a curfew, doing chores, and showing respect to others, are often emphasized. These rules might seem like basic guidelines, but they are fundamental building blocks of responsible behavior.

For instance, a teenager with a 10 pm curfew during the week and a 12 pm curfew on weekends (both meaning to be in the house) is equipped with a clear understanding of boundaries. The porch light trick provides a nuanced way for parents to communicate when it's time to go home. This method uses small increments to indicate that patience is running thin, thus allowing for more flexibility and understanding.

Chores, such as cleaning and organizing, are not just about household responsibilities. They teach children the value of hard work and contribute to a sense of responsibility. The requirement to ask permission before doing something or going somewhere is a way for parents to ensure that their children are accountable for their actions, promoting a sense of security and trust.

Both my mother and father had their own unique approaches to parenting. While my mother's rules may have been more common, my father's insistence on avoiding DUI and unintended pregnancies underscored the importance of preventive measures and precautionary thinking.

Conclusion

Parental rules are more than just restrictions; they are essential tools for shaping a child's character and behavior. By instilling values such as respect, trust, and responsibility, parents ensure that their children develop into well-rounded individuals. These rules, while sometimes strict, play a crucial role in guiding children through life's challenges with confidence and integrity.

Ultimately, these rules are not just about discipline but about fostering a sense of community and mutual respect. They help children understand the importance of courtesy, honesty, and respect for others, which are fundamental to a harmonious and fulfilling life.