The Dilemma: Why People Try to Make You Feel Ugly When You're Not

I am not beautiful; I am ugly, and no surgical intervention could alter that fact. However, I must remind you that I am lucky enough to have avoided the humiliation of being trapped in an unloving, exploitative relationship merely because of my looks. This essay delves into the common reasons behind such occurrences and offers practical advice on how to address them.

Assessing the Triggers

Generally, such remarks or comments stem from a few potential reasons. You may be perceived as overly confident, arrogant, conceited, proud, or vain. These qualities can lead others to bring you down, a tactic that some individuals use as a means to humiliate or assert dominance over others. However, it's important to question whether these incidents are truly due to your appearance or if there might be other factors at play.

The Relentless Tackling of Beauty Standards

The media, society, and even social media can place immense pressure on individuals to conform to a specific standard of beauty. This often results in a world where those who do not fit this mold are subjected to excessive criticism. It's essential to recognize that the treatment you receive may not necessarily be related to your looks. Additionally, it's crucial to understand that average-looking people are often treated worse than those who are considered attractive. This phenomenon can create a skewed perception that makes those who are considered "ugly" feel that they deserve better treatment, which is not always the case.

Dealing with Harassment and Unkind Comments

When you're experiencing online harassment or unkind comments from others, it's crucial to assess the situation and understand the underlying reasons. Sometimes these actions can be attributed to jealousy, rudeness, or a lack of social skills on the part of the person making the comments. It's important to empathize with their potential insecurities or lack of social cues but also set clear boundaries and stand up for yourself.

Seeking Help and Advice

If you're struggling to cope with these negative interactions, here are some steps you can take:

Get an Honest Personality Assessment: Seek help from a professional to Identify if you're missing social cues or misinterpreting them. This can include hiring a dating coach or life coach to provide guidance. Consider Professional Coaching: Engage a life coach or dating coach if the financial commitment is too high; many schools offer free or low-cost coaching services to their students. Check for Personal Hygiene Issues: Sometimes, issues such as body odor, uncleanliness, or poor personal habits can contribute to negative perceptions. Ensure that you maintain good hygiene and consider any olfactory issues you might have, as this could be a source of offense to others. Mental Health Considerations: If you're experiencing hearing problems, this could also affect the way you perceive and respond to others. Ensure that any auditory issues are addressed by a professional.

Lastly, ask your friends if you've been overlooked or misunderstood for any reason. Sometimes, your friends might notice subtle cues that you haven't, such as an offensive odor or poor hygiene habits that you may not have noticed.

Conclusion

Being a victim of online harassment and unkind comments can be distressing and demoralizing. Understanding the underlying reasons for these interactions and taking steps to address them can help you navigate these challenges more effectively. Remember, you are more than your appearance, and if someone is unable to acknowledge this, it's important to set clear boundaries and seek support if needed.