Navigating Strict Home Rules: Lessons from a Child of Strict Parents
As a child of strict parents, I grew up with a set of rules that were both challenging and formative. These rules, from the most basic to the more complex, shaped my values and behaviors in ways that resonate even today. In this article, we'll explore my childhood in the light of strict house rules and how they influenced my life.
House Rules and Their Impact
From an early age, my parents instilled in me the importance of being accountable for my actions. One of the earliest mandatory laws my parents laid down was house clearance. Before I could go outside alone in the back yard, I had to ensure that the house was ready to leave. This meant that no one could leave the house without informing me, specifying who they were going with, and where they were going. The idea was straightforward: transparency and responsibility.
During my summer vacations, in those small-town days of 40 years ago, children often began the day early, ready to play. Me included. Typically, by 9 am, breakfast was already done, beds were made, and rooms were tidy. We didn't use phones to call other children; instead, I would bike off after ensuring I had the correct information on my parent's approval and would be back home before a certain time. The routine was simple but clear: tell your parents where you're going, who you're with, and when you plan to return. Any deviation from this routine led to extra responsibilities and, occasionally, cleaning tasks that could last for several hours.
Hygiene and Personal Responsibility
Hygiene was yet another area where my parents set strict rules. They emphasized the importance of cleanliness, enforcing daily showers and hand washing before meals and after bathroom usage. Brushing teeth at least once a day, preferably twice, was a non-negotiable part of the routine. By instilling these habits, my parents aimed to teach me about responsibility not just in personal care but across various aspects of life. A clean home and good hygiene were seen as indicative of a well-organized and disciplined life.
Curfews and Accountability
Curfews were an integral part of my daily life. Each night, I had to be home by 10 pm on weekdays, with a slight extension on Friday and Saturday nights (11 pm). Sundays followed the weekday rule of 10 pm. This routine lasted until the day I got married, reinforcing the importance of punctuality and adherence to schedules. Keeping track of time was not a luxury but a necessity for my well-being and success.
Picking One: Lessons from a Different Household
Another household had rules that were markedly different from my own. My mother had a "no makeup until 16" rule and a "no dating until 16" policy. Additionally, there was no curfew, but I had to report my every move, and my parents would instruct me on when I needed to return home. These rules were not conducive to a healthy environment for personal growth and development. Such strict control can be ineffective and may lead to rebellion or a lack of independence in young adults.
The lesson from both sets of experiences is clear: while strict rules can instill important values like responsibility and accountability, they must be balanced with personal freedom and mutual trust. Overly controlling environments can hinder personal growth and may lead to negative outcomes.
In conclusion, navigating strict home rules has provided me with a foundation of responsibility, integrity, and a sense of accountability. However, it is crucial to recognize the importance of balance and trust in parenting to ensure healthy personal development.