Navigating Moments of Solitude: Overcoming Loneliness in Distinct Relationships
Loneliness is a pervasive experience that many of us face at one point or another. It can stem from a variety of sources, including a partner who is emotionally unavailable, or even from the loss of loved ones. In this article, we explore three significant moments of solitude and loneliness, and how the author navigated through these challenging experiences.
Understanding Moments of Loneliness
The author of this piece has experienced loneliness in different forms throughout their life. Specifically, the intense feelings of loneliness were experienced during the following instances:
After the Loss of Close Friends
At the age of 36, the author underwent a profound experience known as the 'Dark Night of the Soul' after losing their closest friends. This period was marked by a deep, existential sense of isolation and despair. During this time, the author felt disconnected and lost, even in the company of a partner who was also present but emotionally uninvolved.
Example from the text:
"And both times it was when I was living with a partner who was uncommunicative and not engaged with me. In one case I suffered a loss that had nothing to do with him or our relationship and I was crying. His only comment to me was ‘just get over it.’"
Shift in Living Arrangements
At the age of 41 to 48, the author shifted to a room on the top of their house, partially cutting off from their ex-husband and family. The author had stopped cooking for them and began paying their own bills, a move that partially shielded them from the family dynamic. This period was characterized by geographical and financial independence, yet the emotional bond remained tenuous.
Example from the text:
"When I had shifted to a room on the top of my house in 2011 semi partially 2018 partially cutting off from my ex- husband family. I had stopped cooking for them and payed my own bills until I spent my money totally."
Twilight of the Twin Flame
At the age of 53, the author was informed that their true twin flame would be busy 'elsewhere' for a long time. Despite their efforts to put up a brave face, the reality of the situation proved too challenging to bear. This experience brought a profound sense of loneliness and a questioning of one's future.
Example from the text:
"When I came to know that my true twin flame was going to be busy ‘elsewhere’ for a long time. I tried to accept it by putting up a smile on my face but couldnt manage for long."
Strategies for Overcoming Loneliness
Despite the profound loneliness experienced, the author found solace in various strategies. These include:
Religious and Spiritual Practices
The author found comfort in remembering God and invoking Krishna or Christ for help. While the pain of loneliness sometimes subsided, other times it intensified, especially during challenging times. The author reflected on their experiences and framed them positively, focusing on the goodness that emerged from these hardships.
Example from the text:
"How do I deal with the feeling? I remember God and call on to Krishna / Christ to help me. The pain does reduce sometimes yet it aggravates on other times."
Negative Thinking Patterns
The author discovered a pattern of thinking that heightened their feelings of loneliness. Every night around 2 AM, the author would enter a “Would of” void, ruminating on missed opportunities. However, the author eventually found a solution by countering these thoughts with a “Did of” mindset, highlighting the positive outcomes of their current life situation.
Example from the text:
"Every night around 2am I sort of fall into the “If I Would Of” Void. No matter how hard I try its every night. I finally figured it out for every “would of” I counter it with “I Did” explaining it has given me a good life. It really works."
Self-Care and Goal Setting
Currently, the author is still grappling with loneliness but has found ways to cope, primarily by distracting themselves and working towards their goal of finding someone who makes them feel loved and whole. While this is an ongoing journey, the author remains committed to healing and moving forward.
Example from the text:
"For now the best I can do is distract myself and work towards my goal of finding someone who makes me feel loved and whole."
In conclusion, the experiences of loneliness and the strategies used to navigate them offer a valuable resource for those seeking to overcome their own feelings of isolation. By focusing on positive change through spiritual practices, reframing negative thinking, and setting realistic goals, individuals can work towards a more fulfilling and less lonely life.