Is Sleeping with a Guy on a First Date Sluttiness?
It seems like every TV show and social media influencer portrays first dates as opportunities for immediate intimacy. Is that advice actually advisable? The answer is definitely not.
Why It's Better to Wait Before Shaking the Sheets
The arguments against rushing to intimacy on a first date are plentiful:
1. Lack of Understanding
On a first date, you've only just met the person. Do you really want to make a hasty decision on the potential relevance of such a significant life decision with someone who remains a stranger? Likely, you have no idea if you're dealing with a well-groomed, hygienic individual or someone who might break your heart in 5 seconds. Relationships are based on trust and chemistry, and these take time to develop.
2. Health Risks and the Unknown
In the US, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), approximately 2 out of 5 people have been exposed to Herpes Simplex II, and many don't even know they're carriers. Would you knowingly venture into an intimate relationship with a potential health risk you didn't know about? By waiting, you give yourself the chance to know more about the individual, and to take appropriate precautions to protect your health.
3. Quality in Relationships
When you rush to the sack on a first date, you're potentially dating someone who jumps into sex with every other woman they meet. This mindset often translates into disinterest, inconsideration, or a lack of loyalty in the long run. Are you sure such a person is the one you want to build a future with? Building a strong bond should not be based on an immediate shared physical connection, but rather on shared values and experiences that can develop over time. Taking your time can bring you to someone who truly respects and cherishes you.
4. Passion Through Commitment
Sometimes, the excitement of a new relationship is heightened by the anticipation and mutual respect that grows during a longer courtship. By waiting, you're able to experience the depth of passion that can come from a relationship built on mutual understanding and shared interests. It's not just about the physical attraction, but also about the emotional and psychological connection that deepens over time.
The Debate on Sluttiness
According to societal norms and certain standards, engaging in such behavior with a first date can indeed be seen as a sign of sluttiness. However, it's important to recognize that personal comfort and consent are paramount. If you feel good about yourself, you have the right to set your own boundaries and make your own choices.
A Personal Experience
Decades ago, I did something that was completely out of the norm with me. I slept with a woman on our first date, which was a significant departure from my usual behavior. We were very much in sync and skipped many of the traditional dating steps, getting married just three months later, and have remained together for the past 30 years. If anyone tried to label her as a slut, I would have a strong objection. It's not about the act itself; it’s about the people involved and the mutual understanding and respect they share.
Final Thoughts
Sluttiness is something you may decide for yourself. The key is honesty and respect. Sleep with whomever you choose, but never do so at the expense of your self-worth or at the risk of a superficial, emotionally lacking relationship.