Is It Safe for a Child to View a Deceased Family Member?

When a loved one passes away, one of the most challenging aspects for many families is deciding whether and how to include children in the process. While some believe that young children should be shielded from the reality of death, others advocate for including them in the mourning process. This article explores the safety and benefits of children attending funerals and viewing a deceased family member, based on expert opinions and personal experiences.

Expert Opinions on Childhood Grief and Funerals

Many experts in psychology and child development support the idea that it is safe and even beneficial for children to be present during a funeral. Dr. David Kessler, a psychiatrist and author of GriefShare, emphasizes that death is a natural part of life. He states, "Children need to learn about death, just as they need to learn about other life transitions. Death is real, and it is a critical part of the human experience."

Similarly, Dr. Geraldine Flórez, a pediatric psychologist at Harvard Medical School, suggests that it is important to be transparent and truthful with children about death. She advises, "Parents and guardians should explain the situation in a way that is age-appropriate, providing honest information and reassurance."

Personal Experiences and the Impact of Early Exposure

Personal anecdotes from individuals who have witnessed and attended funerals with children can offer valuable insights into the experiences and their long-term impacts. For instance, a participant in a funerals forum shares, "I remember my grandmother taking me to a funeral when I was 4. I didn’t forget that for years. In high school, I went to funerals for people I went to school with. It seldom crosses my mind." Another individual states, "When our paternal grandfather passed, they made fools of themselves screaming, crying, and throwing themselves around. My siblings and I actually laughed at them and caught hell!"

These stories illustrate that early exposure to death can be handled with grace and understanding, and can serve as a learning experience for children. The children mentioned in these stories have grown up with a better understanding of the concept of death and its role in life, which can help them navigate their own grief and relationships more effectively.

Benefits of Including Children in the Mourning Process

Children who are included in the mourning process may experience several benefits, including:

Exposure to the grieving process can help children develop emotional intelligence, enabling them to understand and express their feelings more effectively.

Learning about death as a natural part of life can help children develop a more realistic and healthy perspective on the inevitability of death.

Participating in funerals and other mourning rituals can help children build resilience and learn coping strategies for dealing with loss.

Attending funerals and memorials can help preserve and honor relationships, allowing children to remember and celebrate the lives of their loved ones.

Conclusion

In conclusion, it is generally safe and recommended for children to view a deceased family member and attend funerals. By including them in the process, parents and caregivers can help their children develop a better understanding of the natural cycle of life and death, build emotional resilience, and maintain positive relationships with those they have lost. While it is important to consider the age and maturity level of the child, the experiences gained from being present during the mourning process can be invaluable in their personal and emotional development.