Introduction

When a period rolls around, it's often a period of excitement and anxiety for many women. But if a period was a person, would it act more like an annoying mother or a female ex-convict? Let's explore this humorous and insightful look at how a period might behave if it were a person.

Period as an Annoying Mom

Periods have a way of showing up at the worst times, whether it's right before a big event or when you're feeling particularly stressed. In this scenario, a period might act like an annoying mother who constantly reminds you that you have to have grandchildren soon.

Consider the following dialogue:

Text Message Mode

9/27/19

Period: Hi Beautiful

Me: Hi uhh can I help you?

Period: Aren’t you glad to hear from me?

Me: Not at this moment.

Period: You say that every month.

Me: Well now I say it more than ever.

Period: Mind telling me why is that?

Me: It’s homecoming tomorrow! it’s my first time going and I haven’t gone in previous years. I would really like to dance and the last thing I need is you going potty on my pants.

Period: Oh!

Period: Did you say dance? Well you’re gonna have such a great time! I’m so proud of you for wanting to go this year so proud that I have a present for you!

Me: A present for me? What’s that?

Period: I found the perfect guest to accompany you tomorrow! Go ahead and check to see who it is.

A few seconds later:

Me: Wait WHAT?

Period: Hehe! I can’t miss the best night ever!

Me: I HATE YOU!

Period: Nah you don’t. If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t be able to have a baby in the future! Don’t you want a baby someday?

Me: Um yes. But what’s that got to do with homecoming?

Period: Well, I gotta do my job so your dream can come true, just like going to homecoming with friends is a dream come true!

Me: Can’t you come another time?

Period: No, can’t do. But don’t worry, you’ll still have a great time! I promise I won’t go potty while dancing! I’ll wait until you're sitting down!

Me: You promise?

Period: Promise you with all my heart!

Me: Okay then.

Period: Thanks, Beautiful!

Period as a Female Ex-Convict

Another humorous perspective on a period as a female ex-con would be where it shows up at inopportune times and causes trouble. Imagine a period showing up during a crucial meeting or a surprise visit from a parole officer for a check-in.

Here's an example:

If a period was a person it would act like an annoying mom who keeps nagging you every month about “where are my grandchildren” and then seeks revenge when she finds out you bear no child.

It would be a female ex-convict because only females get periods monthly, and it always shows up at the end of a sentence, causing chaos and unexpected moments of stress.

Just like a female ex-con might cause unexpected trouble and alarms, a period can show up during the most inconvenient moments, leaving us with a sense of dread and a need for constant preparedness.

Understanding the humor in these scenarios can help us cope more easily with the challenges that come with having a period. Whether it's an annoying mother or a female ex-con, the period remains a constant in our lives, reminding us both of our aspirations and our human frailties.