How to Move On: Lessons from Past Relationships

A few years ago, I encountered a girl. Despite really liking her, I chickened out on approaching her. Ever since, I haven't been able to forget her. What should I do?

Reflecting on my own experiences, I can offer some insights. In 1989, my first wife divorced me. I still remember her. In 2011, my second wife took the same route. I remember her too. My point is clear: you won't forget her, but time will make it easier.

Healing from Heartbreak as You Age

My heart was broken for the first time when I was 20. A girl told me to 'get lost.' Yes, I remember her, but it's important to note that as time goes by, the pain will diminish. Eventually, life will continue on.

Here's some sage advice: save yourself from additional frustration and pain by letting go. Swallow your pride, but embrace the bitter lessons of regret and ‘shudda’.

Forgetting the Past and Moving Forward

There will come a time when you will still remember her, but it won't hurt as much. Life goes on, and it will get better. Instead of dwelling on what could have been, focus on the present and future. There are other girls out there, friends, colleagues, and potential romantic prospects who deserve your attention.

Rebuilding Your Social Circle

Remember, your image of her may not be entirely accurate. People are complex, and you don't truly know them unless you talk to them face-to-face. Building your social circle and asking other girls out can be a good strategy. Don’t decide on the first person who comes along. The purpose of dating is to get to know different people before you find the one who speaks to your heart.

Learning from Your Mistakes

When someone leaves you, it's hard to accept. But you need to face the reality. Don't sit around wishing they were 'you and me' and those 'people they chose instead.' That gets you nowhere. Instead, learn from the experience. Constantly texting someone won't change their mind. Having a crush on someone is just that; if you want to start dating someone, you need to ask them out on a date.

Striking up a conversation is a must. Preferably, do it in person, as you lose a lot of non-verbal communication through text. If you enjoy the conversation, ask them out on a date. Be clear and specific. If the conversation doesn't go well, there's no need to ask them out. If you're not enjoying the conversation, you won't have fun on a date.

Remember, they will make up their mind within the first conversation. Don't waste time dragging things out. Just ask if they are interested. This approach will give you a better chance of making a connection.

Life is about moving forward, both in your career and personal life. Embrace the journey and the people who cross your path. It will be worth it.