How Long Do INFJs Wait Before Pursuing Someone They Like?

INFJs, known for their introspective and thoughtful nature, often take their time before pursuing someone they like. The duration can vary widely based on individual circumstances, but here are some common factors that influence their decision.

Emotional Readiness

INFJs typically need to feel emotionally secure and ready before expressing their feelings. This can take time, especially if they are unsure about the other person's feelings. It's not about waiting for a sign of reciprocation but rather ensuring they are emotionally prepared to open themselves up to the possibility of a meaningful relationship.

Observation and Understanding

INFJs often observe the person they like, taking time to understand their values, interests, and emotional availability. This process can take weeks or even months as they prefer to ensure compatibility. Their deep observation helps them form a clearer picture of whether a relationship can thrive.

Fear of Rejection

Many INFJs are sensitive to rejection, which can make them hesitant to pursue someone. They may wait until they feel a strong connection or indication that their feelings might be reciprocated. The fear of rejection also encourages them to ensure they are making the right decision, thus waiting can be seen as a form of self-protection.

Inner Reflection

INFJs often engage in deep self-reflection, considering their own feelings and the potential impact of pursuing someone. This can lead to a longer waiting period as they weigh their options. They might ask questions like, 'What values align with this person, and can we support each other's growth?' This introspection ensures they are not only pursuing a relationship but also a partnership that will benefit both parties.

Personal Experiences and Tips

While there is no set timeline, INFJs may wait anywhere from a few weeks to several months before pursuing someone they like, depending on their comfort level and the dynamics of the situation. This can be seen as a negative trait by some, but it is a part of their natural cautiousness and deep thinking process.

For those who are INFJs or know INFJs, it's important to remember that withholding or not reciprocating can be emotionally draining. While it's crucial to respect each person's boundaries, it can also be healthy to establish mutual care and concern early on. An INFJ who is as committed to sharing their imperfections as another is willing to share their own can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling relationship.

As an INFJ, I can share my personal experience. Once I recognize the feeling, I evaluate the potential for developing a relationship. If I sense no interest, I typically do not reveal my feelings. However, if I feel there is a chance, I might wait for a month to allow feelings to mature before pursuing the relationship. If the other person is also open, mutual confession and natural progression can often lead to a successful relationship.

In my case, I approached my current girlfriend, an INTJ, in a straightforward manner. We decided to become official after three days of expressing our feelings. It was a natural progression, and the mutual respect and understanding helped us achieve a successful relationship.

While every INFJ's experience is unique, the key is to be patient, thoughtful, and ultimately, to be true to oneself and the person they are pursuing.