Dealing with Failing a Music Performance: A Personal Journey

One of the most difficult moments for any musician is when they believe they have failed a performance. This can be a particularly unpleasant experience when you perform in your hometown or surround yourself with acclaimed peers. However, it is important to remember that these moments can serve as valuable learning experiences. In this article, I will share my own experiences of failure and how to move past them, along with stories from other musicians that have helped me understand that it truly doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

The Importance of Practice and Preparation

After a performance like the one I had, where I felt like I had ruined everything, it is natural to go through a period of self-blame. One common self-generated criticism might be the quality of the sound system, the health condition that day, or even the interaction with the audience. It is essential to avoid placing the blame on external factors and focus on what went wrong and what can be improved in the future.

Reflecting on my experience, I found that the failure was largely due to a lack of proper preparation. It reminded me of the famous bluegrass group The Seldom Scene, where Mike Auldridge had a moment of pure embarrassment when his fingerpicks got caught, resulting in a loud cludge. However, instead of letting the moment define him, he laughed it off, and his bandmate made an exaggerated imitation of his mistake. This light-hearted approach can be the best medicine in such situations.

Embracing Humor and Perspective

As musicians, it is important to embrace humor and perspective when dealing with embarrassing moments. In my case, the most embarrassing moment occurred during a performance in a bar in Jessup, Maryland. I was playing in a band I had only been with for a short time, and my father, who was a renowned steel player, was in the audience. My father played in The Seldom Scene and was later inducted into multiple halls of fame, so he had seen much worse.

The singer called for 'Waltz Across Texas,' and I started playing the intro perfectly. However, after a few bars, I noticed that the band was playing in a different time signature. Despite my attempts to correct them, they continued to play in the wrong time signature. The singer ultimately called a halt, leaving me feeling like I had been subjected to a public humiliation. However, the thing I noticed most was the embarrassement I was feeling, not the musicians in the audience who would surely remember the moment.

Despite the awkwardness, the story has been retold by myself and a select few friends, and neither my father nor his friends can recall the exact details. This shows that the most memorable part of the experience is often the story we tell ourselves, not necessarily the moment itself.

Lessons Learned

Slowly but surely, I realized that these moments of embarrassment are just a part of the journey. Every musician has faced embarrassing moments, and the key is to learn from them and move on. It is important to reflect on what went wrong and what could have been done differently. Whether it was not enough practice, a mistake in tuning, or selecting the wrong songs, these are valuable lessons that can prevent such situations in the future.

Remember, as Barry Manilow once quipped, 'I was once strumming an A chord and made a mistake!' and it is consistent with his song, 'Hand holding the hands that held my hand,' which is about embracing the imperfections and making the best of any situation. The more you can laugh at your own mistakes, the easier it is to overcome them and continue to grow as a musician.

In conclusion, while moments of failure can be incredibly disheartening, they are also opportunities for growth. By maintaining a sense of humor, focusing on self-improvement, and understanding that the memories fade, musicians can navigate through the tough times and move towards even better performances in the future.