Engaging with Strangers: When to Sit Next to Them on Public Transportation

Public transportation, particularly buses and trains, can be a great opportunity for brief encounters with strangers. These encounters, while brief, can offer a chance for social interaction, a sense of community, or, in some cases, a reason to be cautious. Here’s a look at common practices and considerations when interacting with strangers on public transport.

Common Practices and Context

I spent a couple of decades commuting via train and found that people tend to gravitate towards each other for comfort. Even in seemingly empty trains, someone is often sitting next to another passenger. Being close to others can make the journey more comfortable and less lonely.

What to Do When a Stranger Seats Next to You?

The decision to move when a stranger seats next to you largely depends on the situation and personal comfort. If the bus is almost full, the only available seat might naturally be next to you. However, if the bus is almost empty, it’s acceptable and polite to move away to give the space to a stranger.

Observational Caution

Personal safety is important, especially when dealing with strangers. A striking example is when I noticed a woman exposing her wallet and cash on a NYC subway. While initially thinking it might be a set up, my instincts told me to move away. In hindsight, I was right to get off the train and avoid a potential risky situation.

Benefits of Social Interaction

On the other hand, engaging with strangers can be enriching. Social interaction can offer a chance to learn from someone outside your immediate social circle and perhaps even enjoy the encounter. Being open to short conversations can break the ice and lead to interesting exchanges. However, it’s crucial to be aware of your surroundings and the person's behavior.

Personal Preferences and Safety Considerations

Some individuals, like myself, tend to be cautious and prefer to stick to their routines. In situations where a stranger insists on sitting next to you, you might choose to move away or get off the bus at the next stop. This is particularly true if you value your personal space or feel uncomfortable around strangers.

For others, embedding themselves in their devices can be a preferred method to avoid interaction. Simply ignoring or using distractions like headphones can help in maintaining a personal space. However, if you’re being followed or feel uncomfortable, it’s wise to engage in conversation to maintain your safety and possibly establish a connection.

Conclusion

Public transportation offers a unique environment for brief interactions. Whether you choose to engage, remain indifferent, or take precautions depends on your personal comfort and the situation at hand. The key is to be aware, cautious, and respectful, ensuring a safe and pleasant journey for all.