Encouraging or Crushing Unrealistic Dreams: A Parent's Guide

In today's society, it is common for parents to encounter the question of whether they should encourage or crush their kids' unrealistic dreams or goals. The answer is not always clear-cut and often varies based on the individual circumstances. This article aims to explore scenarios and provide guidance on how to navigate these delicate situations.

The Case of the Ballet Dream

The case of one of the author's young nieces illustrates this complex issue well. She was profoundly passionate about ballet and hopeful to become a professional ballerina. She danced from the age of six and excelled in her efforts. However, a series of physical limitations and genetic predispositions made her dream nearly impossible to achieve. These included her shorter stature, curvier figure, and genetic tendencies for larger chest size – all qualities typically not associated with professional ballerinas.

The aunt's choice to let her "dream the world will burst her bubble soon enough" was a wise one. Eventually, when it came time to use 'toe shoes' and her feet could no longer tolerate the pressure, she shifted her focus to modern dance. Eventually, she found new aspirations in baking, where these physical attributes were no longer a hindrance.

The Importance of Support

Letting children have their unrealistic dreams and supporting them through them is paramount. The world will inevitably shatter these dreams, but it is crucial that they remember the love and support from their parents during these times. This support builds confidence and resilience, which can be invaluable in their future endeavors.

Providing Scaffolding

When working with kids who have unrealistic goals, it is often more effective to provide a supportive framework rather than to crush their dreams outright. Here's how you can guide them:

Recognize and Validate Their Goals: Acknowledge and validate their enthusiasm and confidence in their abilities. Children often have an unwavering belief in what they want to achieve, and it is important to respect their confidence.

Offer Practical Support: Suggest alternative steps or paths that can help them achieve their dreams. For example, if they dream of becoming a successful YouTuber, encourage them to learn graphic design, which can enhance the quality and appeal of their content.

Encourage Realistic Long-Term Planning: Suggest a more balanced approach to their long-term plans. For instance, assisting them in finding a part-time job or hobby that aligns with their interests can provide financial stability and a sense of accomplishment.

Conclusion

In conclusion, while crushing a child's unrealistic dreams can be tempting, it is generally more beneficial to encourage them and provide support. By scaffolding their path and giving practical advice, you can help them navigate the challenges of pursuing their dreams while maintaining their confidence and resilience.