Do People with BPD Ever Contact Those They Blocked and Cut Off Again?
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a complex condition that often involves disordered emotional experiences, impulsive behaviors, and relationship difficulties. Individuals with BPD may engage in emotional cutting off or blocking others from their lives to protect themselves from perceived threats or abandonment issues. But what happens afterward? Do they ever recontact these people again? This article explores the dynamics of BPD in relationships, the reasons behind cutting off and recontacting, and provides insights from personal experiences.
Understanding BPD in Relationships
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a chronic mental disorder characterized by pervasive instability in moods, interpersonal relationships, self-image, and behavior. People with BPD often struggle to form healthy, stable relationships due to their intense emotional responses and fear of abandonment. In many cases, a person with BPD might cut off others from their lives when they perceive them as a potential threat or when they sense that the relationship is not going in the way they want.
Dependence on Trust and Validation
When a person with BPD cuts you off, it often signifies that they have been unable to trust the relationship or validate their emotional needs. These individuals are hypersensitive to any perceived negative changes and might provoke conflicts or block relationships in an attempt to maintain control.
Examples from Personal Experiences
From personal experience, I have been in a five-year relationship with someone diagnosed with BPD. When we broke up, it was due to another individual entering her life whom she felt was emotionally manipulative and potentially dangerous to her emotional stability. Example 1: A prolonged relationship—After our breakup, my ex still wanted to stay in touch and use me for emotional regulation. When I remained supportive and authentically kind, she responded with verbal attacks, leading me to ultimately terminate the contact. Eventually, we communicated briefly during a period of high grief due to a pandemic, but she cut me off emotionally, which was a painful experience. This highlights the difficulty in maintaining a meaningful friendship with someone who has BPD.
In a more recent online interaction, I engaged with another individual who was also diagnosed with BPD. Example 2: A short-lived online interaction—Our conversations progressed well, with deep exchanges of ideas and mutual inspiration. However, after three weeks, she dropped a bomb indicating she was still emotionally close to her husband, severing any further communication with a block. This abrupt cut-off underscored the unpredictable and intense nature of BPD in relationships.
Why They Might Recontact Again
Despite the emotional cutting off, individuals with BPD might reach out again for various reasons. For some, it might be a desire for validation, to test their fear of abandonment, or as a form of emotional manipulation.
Example with a Healing Relationship
My ex contacted me more than three years after our breakup and half a year after initially cutting ties. She had broken up with her emotionally manipulative partner and was looking for someone with whom she could have deep, meaningful conversations and feel emotionally supported. Our reconnection provided her with the validation and support she needed, but her current promiscuous behavior suggests that her emotional needs might not be fully met.
Key Takeaways
1. Understanding the Emotional Cycles: People with BPD often go through cycles of emotional intensity and cutting off others from their lives. Recontact might happen at unpredictable intervals, driven by their emotional state and triggers. 2. Recognizing Patterns: Recognize the signs of emotional cutting off and understand that it may indicate underlying emotional instability. When someone with BPD blocks or cuts off contact, it often means they are struggling with their own emotional needs and fears. 3. Professional Help: It's important to seek professional help if you are in a relationship with someone who has BPD. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) are particularly effective in managing BPD symptoms.
Conclusion
Whether or not individuals with BPD will contact those they have blocked again is a complex and varied issue. Understanding the emotional dynamics and triggers can help manage the relationship better. If you are in a similar situation, it's crucial to prioritize your emotional well-being and consider seeking professional assistance to navigate these challenging dynamics.