Dealing With the Grim Reapers: Insights from a Long Serving Funeral Director

Despite the often taboo nature of death, there are those who spend their lives dealing with the aftermath. For over 43 years, I have been a part of the 'death industry,' a term used to encapsulate the multifaceted roles that revolve around the handling and remembering of the deceased. My journey has been a unique and often surreal one, filled with an assortment of odd yet understandable scenarios that have shaped my perspective on mortality.

A Non-Stop Gig: The Nature of Death

Death, much like life, is an unpredictable force. Unlike a 9 to 5 job with fixed work hours, death is an unwavering constant, present in all aspects of society. From accident investigations to post-mortem examinations, from preparing deceased bodies for funerals to running crematoriums, my role as a funeral director, embalmer, forensic death investigator, autopsy assistant, and crematory operator has allowed me to witness a myriad of unusual and sometimes bizarre circumstances. The term 'death industry' might be somewhat misleading, but it aptly describes the various industries that deal with the end of life, including funeral homes, coroners, and investigative services.

Unforgettable Encounters

People often ask me about the craziest scenes I've encountered in my career. It's a difficult question to answer as each case holds its own bizarre elements. For instance, there was the case of a man who was shot by his girlfriend, buried for six weeks, and then exhumed and his legs removed and consumed by her. Conversely, we assisted a free-fall skydiver who had his parachute fail to deploy, impaling him on a tree branch 30 feet off the ground. In the midst of trying to extricate him, the branch broke free, dropping him to the ground, only for his parachute to finally deploy.

Then there was the individual who ingeniously rigged a 30/30 hunting rifle to a filing cabinet, running a string out the window to a neighbor's gate. The trap malfunctioned when the gate opened, resulting in a misfired weapon that decapitated the perpetrator.

Amused by Creativity, Not Alarmed

While these incidents may sound horrifying, the reality is that the nature of death often compels us to find humor in the most tragic circumstances. I recall others looking for the craziest scenes, yet I found most of them to be equally strange. My experience has taught me not to be alarmed by the extraordinary; instead, I have learned to be fascinated by the unique ways in which people die.

Autopsies and Beyond: The Stuff of Nightmares?

Throughout the years, I have conducted many autopsies, and witness to the macabre can indeed be unsettling. However, professional experience has dulled the shock factor somewhat. There are moments when the sight of disfigurement and malpractice can still be horrifying, but such occurrences are rare. The most frightening moments have come from witnessing the consequences of vanity and ignorance.

Unfortunately, in the hot and arid conditions of the Sonoran Desert, the frequency of found bodies has become routine, especially during the summer months. In temperatures exceeding 110 degrees Fahrenheit for days on end, the presence of deceased bodies in the environment has become as common as any other natural occurrence. Similarly, in the previous chapter of my career, the elderly care home I worked at saw a vast number of deceased individuals, making everyday encounters with the dead second nature.

Conclusion: The Unseen Beauty in Death

While death can be a harrowing and intimidating subject, it is also a reminder of the beauty in life and the creativity of human beings. Despite its uncomfortable nature, the field of the death industry has provided me with invaluable insights into human behavior and the impact of our actions. Scream? Never. Instead, I might laugh or marvel at the creativity and complexity of it all.