Coping with the Loss of a Parent or Sibling: A Personal Journey

I’m so sorry for your loss, Snehasis. It must be very painful. Dealing with the trauma of losing a loved one, especially a parent or sibling due to the untimely fate of a COVID-19 loss, leaves no time for preparation and can be utterly devastating. The grief you’re experiencing is a testament to the bond that blood ties create and the end of life began with them. It's natural to feel abandoned and question why this happened to you.

A Day by Day Process

There is no easy way to cope with this loss. It’s a day-by-day process. You might also be experiencing survivor’s guilt. After my father passed away, it was one hell of a time. My mother’s continued struggle shed more light on the impossibility of understanding the pain. After her passing, my world changed when my younger brother followed her. I, away from home, had to distance myself, unable to attend his funeral. When I returned, I felt shattered and alone. My second brother then passed away in a matter of hours after a routine operation. Two years and ten months later, even his presence haunts me.

Emotional Impact and Survivors Guilt

With every memory or detail about him, a wave of grief hits me, reminding me of his absence. He was my most beloved brother, almost a living companion day and night, whose love and dedication were the pillars of my life. Even his passing two years ago hasn't allowed me to cope with the meaninglessness of life. I talk to his photograph, grappling with the profound question of permanence and the sudden end of life. How could this happen?

“If he had (been prepared), I would have known from his gestures or he would have given some hint at some point. Which he never did.”

Struggling with the Legacy of Loss

These traumatic life events have left me questioning the essence of life and my own mortality. How does a moment of humor turn into a stark reminder of his absence? How can I be enjoying my time without him? These intense emotions are what I’ve had to experience and endure. Coping with the loss of family, especially those you are intimately connected with, can cripple your mind and make your future feel hopeless, meaningless, and charmless.

Beyond the Pain: Finding Peace

May your parents, and your brother, rest in peace. May you be granted the strength to bear this loss and move forward with the understanding that their love and presence remain with you. Keep moving forward and embracing the strength they instilled in you. Remember, the pain is a part of the journey, but it doesn’t define your future.