Confessions and Beliefs

Introduction

I was in 12th grade when I did something weird that no one knew about, except one of my classmates. We both were in the washroom and were discussing our warden. She had an unjustifiable extra-marital affair and would slap for trivial reasons. So, we decided to write about her affair on the walls of the washroom. While it was immature and wrong, I was simply not mature to understand its implications back then.

Consequences and Reflection

The consequences of defacement were severe. She took my diary and my friend’s slambook, and forcefully extracted photo of Sai Baba, saying these things were not allowed. Despite being scolded by the school director, she did not return the items. This experience made me question my actions and their impact. It’s only later in life that I reflected upon the importance of maturity and responsibility.

Positive Thinking and Personal Growth

One of the weirdest things I enjoy doing is Yaoi. However, in terms of confessions, the only one I feel comfortable sharing is regarding my life’s perspective on positive thinking. I used to think in a negative manner to achieve positive outcomes. For example, while preparing for a job interview, I would think, "I won't get it." But this had the unintended effect of lowering my confidence and making me behave unnaturally. Over time, I learned to embrace positive thinking. Now, I understand the concept of thoughts becoming things, which can be both liberating and anxiety-inducing.

Spirituality and Dialogue

I have a history of talking to God, a habit I picked up in my childhood. I addressed my doubts and challenges to Him, questioning the reason for wars, suffering, and the act of questioning Him. While I embrace the teachings of God, I often question them, a practice rooted in my belief that He is all-knowing and can understand my thoughts. This dialogue, though often criticized by my Sunday School teacher, has been a source of comfort and reflection. When I was about 9 or 10, I even questioned whether I could love my mother as much as God, a decision that still defines my sense of morality.

In my friend group, I am considered weird, but that only highlights the universality of questioning beliefs and the importance of accepting others, regardless of their stance. My boyfriend, who does not believe in God in the traditional sense, embodies the qualities that I associate with God. Despite his lack of traditional religious beliefs, he is loving, caring, non-judgmental, and protective. The light he emanates is unmatched, and his actions often remind me of the essence of my beliefs.

Through these experiences, I have learned the value of understanding and accepting the complexity of life. It is essential to embrace our beliefs and question the teachings that we are given, as these thoughts and actions shape our identity and guide our paths.

Conclusion

Reflect on your own confessions and beliefs. Embrace the journey of self-discovery and acceptance. May you find peace and happiness in your journey, and may you always show love to those you care about. I look forward to reading more of these heartfelt confessions.