Breaking Promises for Preventing Suicide: When to Seek Help
Now in a critically difficult situation, I'm facing a choice that truly tests my limits. The world feels like an overwhelming quilt of despair as my boyfriend considers taking his life. Despite my repeated attempts to make him see reason, he made me promise not to tell anyone. However, everything he’s done, from texting his 11-year-old son and leaving a trail of pills, has shattered my trust. It’s a troubling choice, but here’s the situation as it stands.
Illegal Section 21 and Homelessness
He and I have battled through a difficult legal case under Section 21 and have been thrust into the shelter system with our local council. This doesn’t just place an economic strain on us but a personal one as well. With my own father battling advanced dementia, his behavior feels more predatory than loving. He took the mental health of my father into his hands, neglecting mine instead. My dad's declining health is a mirror to my own despair, as if we are overwhelmed by the weight of the world. His actions towards me and my father compound the pain and desperation we're both feeling.
Consideration of Manipulation and Extreme Actions
I question the motivations behind his actions. Sending a 11-year-old a message that he had taken pills is alarming and can be viewed as manipulative. This extreme act might be an attempt to somehow force my hand back into the relationship, which is more concerning than the imminent danger it represents. His disregard for my feelings, and the fact he went to a minor instead of me, is a breaking point. This action not only betrays trust but also questions the validity and importance of my relationship with him.
Seeking Professional Help and Legal Intervention
Fearful and scared, I reached out to the mental health crisis unit. They offer a beacon of hope, understanding, and professional intervention. Now, the onus is on me to ensure he seeks the help he needs. But, I wonder if it's too little, too late. I’ve tried talking to him, understanding his reasoning, and even caving to his demands to keep quiet. But now, I am pushing for his welfare above all else. The mental health crisis unit can provide the support and resources he needs, but it’s crucial I also inform his parents and the authorities.
There’s a saying that if he wants to die, let him. But this is a detached, callous sentiment that fails to recognize his struggles. Suicide is not a simple decision, but a culmination of despair and hopelessness. Many people battle with suicidal thoughts, and with the right support, they overcome such struggles. There’s no denying the toll it takes on those left behind. If he’s planning to take his life, knowing how and when, you can take steps to ensure his funeral arrangements are considered. Insuring him for the funeral, giving him financial autonomy for such decisions, can be a thoughtful and practical measure.
When a Promise Must Be Broken
Promises are meant to be honored, but they also serve to protect and guide. If I can see that his life is in genuine peril and holding it together just to fulfill a promise is compromising his mental well-being, it’s a promise I don’t need to keep. Keeping such a promise could be harmful. If you find yourself in a situation where your loved one is considering suicide, it's imperative to set that promise aside for the sake of their health. If it’s someone’s dad who committed suicide, it’s hard to handle but you don’t have to face this alone.
Break the silence and open the doors to help. Your boyfriend might be under the impression that he can fix everything on his own, but the truth is, he’s struggling. Sometimes, the hardest step is the first one. You holding onto that promise is a sign of strength, but in this case, it’s a sign of need. Telling his parents and the authorities can be a lifeline for your boyfriend. It might be painful, but it's better to save a life than to regret not doing anything.
At the end of the day, if he chooses to end his life, it’s a choice he will make. But at least, you can take comfort in knowing you did everything within your power to ensure he had support and the necessary help. His depression might have consumed his thoughts and actions, but his dad and his partner didn’t have to share his pain.
Remember, asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Sometimes, you'll need to break promises to help the people you love.