Being True to Yourself: Balancing Authenticity and Manners

In the quest to be true to ourselves, many of us encounter ethical dilemmas, especially when it comes to maintaining our core values while still adhering to societal norms. This debate often revolves around the question: Should we be ourselves, even if that means possibly being perceived as a jerk? In this article, we will explore the balance between being your authentic self and practicing good manners, drawing from insights in etiquette and personal growth.

The Importance of Good Manners

Ethics and etiquette are not only about behaving politely, but also about fostering a respectful and harmonious environment. The Emily Post Institute underscores the relevance of these principles in the modern world through their comprehensive guides on etiquette.

Reflecting on the advice from The Emily Post Institute and various resources, it is crucial to understand that being yourself does not mean disregarding basic manners. There are numerous books that offer guidance on this, such as 10 Books Every Modern Gentleman Should Read, which includes works that help individuals enhance their personal conduct and appearance.

Striking the Balance

At its core, the question of whether one should always be themselves hinges on understanding one's true character. Being an authentic individual is about integrating integrity, kindness, and respectful behavior into your personality. However, it is also important to recognize that suppressing certain behaviors, particularly those that could harm oneself or others, is often necessary for personal and social well-being.

For instance, if your natural personality is marked by a tendency to be mean or rude, it might be important to exercise self-control in social or professional settings. This does not mean that you have to change who you are fundamentally, but rather that you can manage your behavior to align with socially acceptable norms without losing your genuine self.

Understanding Terrible Behaviors

Some people might argue that being true to themselves means being whatever they are, regardless of how it affects others. This stance is problematic, as it can lead to harmful actions. If someone engages in behavior that could hurt others or cause damage, it is crucial to recognize that they are not truly being authentic, but rather, are expressing a negative and harmful attitude.

It is essential to have self-awareness and reflect on one's actions, ensuring that they contribute positively to oneself and others. Suppressing behaviors that could harm you or others can be more about strategic self-preservation rather than betrayal of who you are.

Seeking Guidance

Individuals who find it challenging to reconcile their true selves with social norms may benefit from guidance. Counselors and therapists can provide valuable support in self-discovery, helping individuals to understand their strengths and weaknesses and work towards personal growth. This process can help them develop a balanced and fulfilling life, rather than being categorized as "terrible."

Ultimately, the journey towards authenticity is a complex one, and it is essential to strike a balance between being true to oneself and maintaining good manners. This balance can lead to a more harmonious and fulfilling existence, both for the individual and those around them.