Are Parents the Best Judges for Their Children?

Parents often wonder whether they are the best judges for their children, at least when it comes to knowing and understanding them. This question arises frequently, especially during periods of parenting when the line between parental wisdom and the need for child independence is blurred.

Parental Perspective and Experience

The answer is both yes and no. Yes, because parents have experienced much of what their children are going through or will go through. They possess a wealth of wisdom that comes with being an elder in the family. Yes, you are your own person, and it is crucial for parents to recognize this. Children have their own lives, which are separate from their parents' lives and experiences.

However, whether parents can be seen as the best judges for their children is questionable. Parents cannot always be objective when it comes to their own children. Even if a parent could accept compelling evidence that their offspring did something illegal, many would believe that a mitigating circumstance excuses the child's actions or feel that the child has already suffered enough by just being accused and tried. In such cases, no further penalty is warranted. This emotional involvement often leads to a lack of objectivity, which hinders the fair judgment.

Legal Perspective and Objectivity

Assuming your reference to 'judges' is in a legal context, parents would not make good judges in most cases. This is because victims' parents would be too emotionally involved to deliver fair justice. Objective judges are better suited to uphold the law and ensure justice is served.

Fostering Growth and Independence

While parents do have a unique advantage in understanding their children, the ultimate goal should be to guide them towards their best selves. In the best scenario, parents help their children learn and grow independently. This does not mean they will always allow their children to make mistakes or do things their way. Children often need guidance and consequences for their actions to learn and grow.

Transition to Independence

By the time children reach the age of 18, they are considered their own judges. Life will teach them as it did for their parents. While parents guided and provided consequences when the children lived under their roof, they now value a more mature relationship. As with the narrator's father and mother, the parent-child relationship evolves, and parents usually only offer their opinion when asked for it.

Conclusion

Parents can indeed be the best judges for their children, but their ability to do so depends on how well they balance their wisdom and experience with their child's evolving independence. While parents play a crucial role in a child's life, fostering a healthy, balanced relationship where children can grow and make their own decisions is ultimately the goal. This approach ensures that children are raised by caring individuals who truly understand their needs, rather than by individuals who may lack the necessary experience to guide them effectively.